Rushing

Only my friend would understand this. Last year on February 18th started the long journey of 7 months of hell. That was when S wasnt talking to me and i was miserable. I cried every single night for 5 months.Then my JB came back into my life and we started dating. I had comfort and barely thought about S, but there were some nights i did. My mind was always on my boyfriend and i was actually started to heal and be happy again. Even my best friend knew that i was happy and that i needed that comfort to get my mind off S. She knew it was what i needed. Me and JB had our issues but nothing compared to those disastrous months. When me and JB broke up i was sad and started thinking about S again. Which made me be upset again. Then at the end of august he started talking to me again. I was happy. Even though S broke my heart many times he somehow has the power to always fix it. Like they say "only the one you breaks your heart can fix it". Now as February is nearing its starting to get to me because i feel like the same thing is going to happen. He hasnt talked to me since December 17th. I have said since probably a lil before that, that i wanted a boyfriend. That is why i am trying to get into a relationship. Im kinda rushing, which i hate doing. cause sometimes something goes wrong. But i have been ready for a relationship for awhile. i just need that comfort again. like i really need it.