PastandPresent1for1.blogspot.com

Hiding the pain

I took 5 steps forward and in one day, one days time i took 12 steps back. I can't hide the pain anymore i cant hide how i feel. For two weeks its been a mask everyones been seeing. Everyone has been thinking i'm getting better and i'm ok. For once people thought i was ok for real. I'm not ok. I want my baby back and i want the love of my life back.I lose my baby and then the week after the love of my life breaks up with me. He just wakes up and says thats it. I put 2 years of my life into that relationship. I never wanted to lose him, i gave him my heart and in return i had it thrown on the floor and crushed. It's not fair. Why was my baby taken from and why was he taken from me. He was my soulmate and i have loved him for 2 years 24 months 104 weeks 730 days 17,520 hours 1,051,200 minutes 63,072,000 seconds

College

I am so happy i finished high school early and got my diploma january 27th. that was one of my biggest goals finishing high school early so i could start college right away. I start college april 20th and am going for criminal justice. i'm so excited because its been my dream to go to college.

Love of my life

Adam really is my one and only. We have been through so much together these past two years. I want us to be together for so much longer, i can actually see us possibly getting married in the future. My baby girl is going to be 6 months old soon, she growing up so fast.

6 1/2 months :)

Ive been with the love for a year and 5 months now and I'm 6 1/2 months pregnant with a baby girl. Skylar will be here soon enough just 14 weeks to go. I can't wait! Well I should say we can't wait. Last night when he came home we put the crib up and it looks perfect. It was really fun putting our daughters crib up together. Next month his sister is throwing a baby shower for me, and even though we have most of the stuff already I hope we get the rest of her needs.

Our family

The love moved in last night and boy is there a lot to unpack. Since I can't be lifting heavy things my my was mostly helping him. Now that he's actually here it's not the same as when he would just come over for the weekend because this is his home now.

I am so happy

its a BABY GIRL! We found out today and we are making her name Skylar Grace. She will be born on or around October 17th which is the same due date they gave his sister last year but she was late. Both of his nieces are born in October so I think it will be cute to have them all in the same month and maddy will only be one year older then Skylar. I'm so happy I get to share this with the guy I love.

Lying to myself

For the past year its been a roller coaster. I've just been forcing myself to be happy. I've thought about ending the relationship since july the second time you cheated on me, but no i didnt because i didnt want to be alone. The last time i can honestly say i was happy and had a real smile on my face is when i found out i was pregnant. This baby is the only thing that keeps me going and something to look forward to. 13 weeks of knowing theres someone growing inside that i love so much already. the last time i said "i love you" to him and really meant it was on our 1 year, which is almost two months ago. I'm just not happy anymore im miserable. I just cant take it anymore. I can't take all this stress.