6 1/2 months :)

Ive been with the love for a year and 5 months now and I'm 6 1/2 months pregnant with a baby girl. Skylar will be here soon enough just 14 weeks to go. I can't wait! Well I should say we can't wait. Last night when he came home we put the crib up and it looks perfect. It was really fun putting our daughters crib up together. Next month his sister is throwing a baby shower for me, and even though we have most of the stuff already I hope we get the rest of her needs.

Our family

The love moved in last night and boy is there a lot to unpack. Since I can't be lifting heavy things my my was mostly helping him. Now that he's actually here it's not the same as when he would just come over for the weekend because this is his home now.

I am so happy

its a BABY GIRL! We found out today and we are making her name Skylar Grace. She will be born on or around October 17th which is the same due date they gave his sister last year but she was late. Both of his nieces are born in October so I think it will be cute to have them all in the same month and maddy will only be one year older then Skylar. I'm so happy I get to share this with the guy I love.

Lying to myself

For the past year its been a roller coaster. I've just been forcing myself to be happy. I've thought about ending the relationship since july the second time you cheated on me, but no i didnt because i didnt want to be alone. The last time i can honestly say i was happy and had a real smile on my face is when i found out i was pregnant. This baby is the only thing that keeps me going and something to look forward to. 13 weeks of knowing theres someone growing inside that i love so much already. the last time i said "i love you" to him and really meant it was on our 1 year, which is almost two months ago. I'm just not happy anymore im miserable. I just cant take it anymore. I can't take all this stress.

I love him so much it hurts

I can remember the first day i met him like it was yesterday. Even though he makes me upset sometimes he always makes me feel better and smile again. I love putting my head on his chest and just listening to his heart beat. It calms me down and makes me smile all the time. He makes me so happy and i wouldnt change a second of this past year. Meeting him changed my life and im so thankful to have him in it. Like he said monday night "i'm right here i'm not going no where".

You say whatever i say whatever

i didnt smoke it i just lit and said to myself "im not going to kill myself or harm my baby". then i put it out. that is exactly what i told him. my baby is my main priority. I'm just sick of him smoking pot and doing meth. I don't like when he does it because then he has an attitude but he doesn't see that

This year is going great!

It will be 1 year together  the 23rd of this month. We have been trying for a baby since last july 4th and yesterday i took a test because i just knew something was up and there it was...the result i was waiting for positive. I am having a baby sometime in October. As soon as i found out i called him and he was so happy. We were both crying because we were so happy. I texted him last night and said "Hey daddy to be" he said "i'm so excited". My friend brandi is absolutely perfect she is so happy for me. We all are happy. I have a picture of me and him together and even though its silly i love it. I love him with all my heart and now that theres a part of him in me i couldnt be happier. he even got me a bunny! her name is midnight, he picked it because it was midnight when we named her. shes awesome.

Anchored Down

Im not doing this because i dont love you anymore, i'm doing this because i know i will never stop loving you. There isn't a minute that goes by where i don't love you, even when i'm mad at you i still love you. I may have said i loved others before you, but none of them compare to how much i love you. I really do believe you are my soul mate, the one for me. i just feel like i'm holding you down like an anchor. I never wanted to act like an anchor to you. I feel as if i am preventing you from doing the things you love and want to do. I'm just in the way, holding you down from going anywhere. You won't go anywhere if you don't let go of the anchor holding you down. In this picture....I am the anchor. You need to let go of me in order to move anywhere. Trust me when i say this I do not want to lose you at all, i want to stay with you forever...I just feel like i'm holding you down. I'm sick of being selfish and only thinking of myself, so right here right now i am thinking about you. I'm the anchor holding you down, and i need to let go so you can be free. Free like an angel. I've never loved anybody as much as i love you. I'd do absolutely anything to see you and be with you. Thats thinking what i want. Your always saying "nobody ever cares what adam wants", well i do. I want to know what you want. If you want to live free and do what you love and want to do, i understand. Just let go of the anchor holding you back. If you want to stay where your at then leave the anchor where it is. Its what you want this time, because its not always what i want. I know now it wasnt always about me, i should have listened to there problems and tried to help them when we were friends, but nope i just kept going back to my problems my issues. I want my relationship to be different. 11 months and after everything i'm ready to hear and understand what you want. I have to be ok with whatever it is you choose.

Best end to 2014 and great beginning of 2015

Spent a week with the love December 24th-december 26th, and  December 30th to january 4th. Spending christmas with him was amazing and then new years, even better. I made him a birthday cake which he absolutely loved. Being with him on his birthday meant a lot to me. We went over to his dads for his birthday so i got to meet more of his family. New years day and January 2nd me and him went down to kevwars house, kevin miller (used to be the drummer for the band fuel). His house is actually pretty neat. He has pet turkeys, i never had pet a turkey before and it was surprisingly soft. he has three dogs chloe, chase, and jack. just spending each night with adam was special. i really love him. only one more month till our 1 year.

This is a picture of Me, Adam and his niece maddisyn