Sick Of Crying All The Time

I'm starting to get really sick of crying all the time. When I'm home alone and hear a sad song I go sit up against a wall and cry and think of all the bad times. Then memories flood my mind and i cry even more. You cry not because your weak but because its how you release your pain. I'm sad everyday. I really couldn't tells you the last time I actually had a real smile on my face and not a fake one. I lied so many times so people didnt know i was upset and now i dont even know whats true anymore.