I hate crying over him. I cried so much over him. The last 6 almost 7 months of my life have been complete hell because everyday when something reminded of him i would always cry. id cry for hours and hours. I was always trying to put on a smile for everyday that i went to school. Nobody knew that i was in so much pain. Half the stuff im gonna say my best friend doesnt even know. I was so depressed that i just wanted to die. Like legit die. I didnt care about my life anymore. I didnt wanna deal with the pain. I just couldnt take it. Seeing him drive past my house everyday and knowing that he was never gonna stop just killed me. I tried taking an overdose many time, that didnt do anything. i cut many times to get rid of some pain. Like i wanted to die. i guess it just wasnt my time to go since nothing was working.
then he talks to me again and im fine. but its just i feel like he hates me and i just know theres no chance of me being with him. Yeah i told my best friend i dont like and i cant. Truth is i really do still like him. when i was dating this guy over the summer i said to myself "even though im in a relationship i still love s". That feeling just isnt gonna go away.
Im still crying over this kid. Like what the fuck. I dont even know why im crying. it just doesnt make any sense.
well i cant write anymore its making me a little upset.
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