He influenced me to change my ways. I did stuff for him and just excepted it. I don't except it anymore, I feel horrible. The feelings I had and still have for him are also influencing my actions. I wanted to destroy his car thinking maybe he will learn this way.. no no no that isn't a good idea. I wanted to kidnap him....no no no I am not that kind of person.
I have wanted to do so many things to him to make him suffer and I can't fix it. I just feel broken and can not be fixed. I got involved with the wrong guy who made me happy and everything, but I bet it was all pretend. I feel like I turned into some crazy mental person. That is not who I am! Or at least thats not who I was. He changed my ways of life. And now its not worth living or trying anymore, knowing it can only get worse.
It will never get better never. I try to change, but it's to late. I'm so messed up inside I can't change it. I wish I could, but I can't.
Its not that you cant let go. You just wont let yourself.
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