Saturday, May 11, 2013

To My Friend

Your blog post really did make me think. You said you warned me not to go for him....and i ignored you. But what you don't know is that i took what you said into consideration. It's just I wanted to see how it went, and if it would go anywhere. Every time he hurt me you were by my side and I thank you for that. I can admit that I was so stupid to go back to him 6 times....every time he broke my heart and wanted back in my life. I picked up all the pieces and let him heal me again. But this last time he broke my heart...he hasn't come back to fix my heart and I know he never will. He's out of my life for good. I don't want him to be. I took him back even though I really never should have. He just made me feel safe and he made me happy and feel wanted. I haven't felt that in a long time. That's why I took him back time after time after time. And I probably would take him back if he would ever want back in my life. I never got a goodbye from him. He just woke up one day and decided he was never gonna talk or text me again. I know that I could have stopped this a while ago. I chose not to because I thought he might change. He's not mine nor will he ever be. I got rejected I fucking get that and I really could care less about that ok. That is not the reason why i'm still holding on. Your right he isn't gonna be around next year...or the year after......
I know all of that aightt. I will probably waste the remainder of this year crying over him until the feelings go. I know what I need to do in order for that to happen. I don't care how long I have to wait for S and K to help me, but I will get the job done. My life is already screwed up so why not just let is destroy. welp bye.

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