Repost: How I Feel :(

No one knows how I really Feel about you, not even my best friend. Today I realized I just can't hide it or pretend like everything is ok when it is not. NOTHING is right NOTHING! Nobody knows what the hard part is..... It's going to school everyday and seeing him and trying so hard not to breakdown right there in front of him crying my heart out. It's knowing that I gave him so much and can't take any of it back. It's knowing that I gave him everything and he gave me nothing in return. It's knowing that know matter how much I want him to be mine he will never be. He doesn't feel the same....at least that's what I think. It's knowing that we will never talk to each other again. There is so much that hurts and I haven't been able to tell anyone because I get so upset. Well no I am absolutely done with this crap I can't take it anymore. I'm done putting a smile on my face at school and acting like I am so happy when inside I'm so broken. I'm done telling people that nothing is wrong and that I am over him and have no feelings left. When really everything is wrong and I feel so much for him. I guess I can almost say I love him. Cause some people say that when you cry so much for someone it's because you love them. I have cried so much for him....so much that I can't believe I even have tears left. Everyday I see him I have to hold myself together....then when I get home I cry my heart out because of all the pain i'm in. I played the role of the girl who is happy and has nothing wrong in her life, so well that people actually believed me and bought it. Well guess what the REAL me is sad, miserable, hurt, heartbroken, damaged and has so much wrong with her life. See were complete opposites. So I am just done pretending to be someone else. I'm hurting myself because I don't know how else to deal with this anymore. I just want this pain to end and go away, but it just won't.