i get it i really do

Ive made a lot of choices this past year.i wish i could take them back but i cant. Some people say if you want something to change then you have to take action. I just feel like it would be pointless because if they wanted to talk to me they would have. Theres not a day that goes by where i don't think of how things could have been. I lied to a lot of the people who were close to me but it was because i wanted to do things my way and not hear what they had to say. I wanted everything to go my way, only to learn things dont always go as planned. I pretty much lost all my friends. I talk to none of them and they dont talk to me. I have nobody really. Ive just been stressing out a lot lately and that isnt healthy or good. My boyfriend is All i have right now. Me and my mom are getting along better but i mean it still needs work. They are the only two people i talk to. Im either in my room all day or outside with my boyfriend. Ever since i met him he has been the first thing on my mind.i care so much for him and would do anything for him. I can at least be somewhere Monday nights now that i belong to a fire station. Ive been saying some stupid things lately but i think its because my hormones are wack, but the thing he says makes me mad. When i say the stupid stuff he says "sometimes i feel bad for that kid inside you, just because of the shit you say." Hes right and the truth hurts. Ever since i told him i talked to the guy in jail we bicker and i dont like it ,neither does he. Truth is if it wasnt for this kid and my boyfriend i wouldn't be breathing. I have nothing and no one. Thats why i take our relationship so seriously because it cant break apart.his dad doesn't really like me but we are working on it. Im just trying to make things work.

Im sorry to those i lied to you, pissed off, made you feel like i didnt care im sorry.

He will always be my handsome man :)