Guilty

He's making me feel guilty now. I should not feel guilty because he is the one who has been talking to however many girls. Well i mean he just talked to them he never actually hung out with any of them. He snapped at me 23 days ago and he is the one who said that's it not me. So i got over my emotional week with talking to him on the phone each and every single day. Then just last week i talked to a different guy. in the whole 7 months that was the first time i had ever talked to someone else. I'm not gonna lie me and that guy did hang out. I didn't feel like going home since it was 2am, so he said i could stay. so I stayed over. I left at 7am then so its not like it was a long time i was only there since 11pm the night before. No big deal right? I was single. Then he as in the ex started calling me babe again, which made me begin to feel guilty.  Apparently we are back together. Same thing happened around my birthday. He ended things and then a couple days later called me babe and said we are back together. I love him i really do and with the situation that we are in we have to work things out. 7 months of tears, saying i love yous, missing eachother when we are apart, fighting.....etc. and all i can say is i dont know. I just dont know anymore. The guy i hung out with was the girl who my boyfriend fucked two days before my birthdays ex. So i guess me and him are even. He took the girl and i took the guy. EVEN FUCKING STEVEN! Now he's friends with that girl on facebook again, which makes me wonder if somethings going on again. You know what i'm just at the point where i really dont give a shit. I'm going to tell the world this because like i said i dont care. he texted me last night and said "Are we going to fuck like there is no tomorrow when you come over". I laughed so hard because he is such a joke. He's talking to some other chick of which i know and then he says that to me. Like for real? He has got to be dumb. 

ME MYSELF AND I. That is all i can handle for right now. He is driving me crazy because i dont know what to think. We are together for now i guess.