Friday i came home so happy and just couldnt stop smiling. After lunch he walked me to my next class and along the way we were talking. When we got to my class he said "do i get a kiss" i said yes and we kissed. He has no idea how much that kiss meant to me. The guy i have had a huge crush on since november finally kissed me. After that happened i continued to smile till the end of the school day and probably till i went to sleep. It made me so happy to know that me and him are actually getting somewhere good. Then today game. We had plans to hangout today and i couldnt wait. He worked at 5 so we had to hangout before then. As 1 o'clock was nearing and still no response from him i started getting mad because i dont get why he wouldnt text me. I hate crawling after people. Well anyways at like 1:30 i texted him saying hey. He started texting me, then at like 1:40 he asked if i still wanna hang. I said yea. Then once again we made plans. At 3:03 he texts me and says "damn we cant hang out today. Ill make it up to you when we go out next week". Then i go on his instagram page to find that when he said he was on his way to get me he was really with his friends at a restaurant. That all made me pissed. I say i like it and that i can handle it. Truth is I'm not that strong. Mentally or emotionally strong. The smallest thing can make me upset and i just put on a face to make it look like i don't care and that it doesn't bother me. It bothers me a lot. Like i thought that the kiss meant we were actually getting somewhere good. If we would date is this how its gonna be. Is he never going to text me first. Like i dont understand what the big issue is with that. I don't wanna have to always text him first. I may overthink a lot of things, which i tend to do. I feel like its all a game. I mean i like him cause he's nice and has a mean/bad side to him. But then i feel like the kiss was a distraction to shut me up. Either way he asked for a kiss. My friend said he didnt try hard enough before. Shes right he didnt try hard enough. He is trying this time but i dont see the effort. If he was actually trying he would text me and talk to me at schooo but no. Its when ever i text him and whenever i am staring at him he will say hi. Thats not how it should be right? I dont know why i stresa myself out over these thing. All i know is my day was ruined. It is ending shitty because of him.
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